Being Good.
I was reminded today that often I compare my success to the success of a neurotypical person's metrics of success. What exactly does that mean? It means that society values behaviors of neurotypical people. These metrics come from a place of adhering to the productivity needs of capitalism today. Neurodiverse people are often marginalized by these measures of success. As a person who was diagnosed later in life, I've realized that measuring myself to the standards laid before me by society made me suffer with issues around shame around not being good enough despite my best efforts and repeatedly drove me into burnout and depression. Understanding today that the root cause is a difference in values makes me feel empowered and compassionate for a part of myself that was wounded repeatedly by these forms of marginalization before my diagnosis of ADHD.
What is expected:
1) Timeliness.
2) Productivity on Demand.
3) Measurement by metrics such as grades, credit scores, or performance reviews.
4) Waking early and falling asleep on time.
5) Attendance.
6) Task Completion.
7) Money Management and Wealth.
8) Material Possession.
9) Being Agreeable.
10) Being Predictable.
11) Being Organized.
12) Adhering to a Schedule.
13) Having a Large Social Group.
14) Being Disciplined with Exercise.
15) Staying in A Job Long-Term.
16) Time as a Commodification.
17) Self-Sufficiency and Independence.
18) Motivation for external validation.
19) Tying Identity to Status.
20) Tying Worth to Class.
What I accel at:
1) Divergent thinking.
2) Finding solutions to complex problems.
3) Multi-tasking based on interest.
4) Listening to my inner voice.
5) Reading energies.
6) Seeing the full picture.
7) Innovation.
8) Thinking in multiple scales simultaneously.
9) Observing, foreseeing and identifying problems.
10) Understanding others.
11) Validating myself.
12) Working independently.
13) Leadership that allows for individuals to express themselves authentically and collaboratively build on good ideas.
14) Analyzing successes as well as failures.
15) Seeking authenticity and truth.
16) Mechanical thinking.
17) Planning.
18) Working in accordance to my energy.
19) Distilling complex information.
20) Researching interest-based topics and understanding foreign concepts.
22) Understanding sensory information and processing.
23) Understanding the psychology of humans.
The definitions I have made for my own measure of success lend to not only my profession but also how I exist in the world. My relations with others are strengthened by this understanding. I feel contentment in my abilities because I have set my own priorities. Studying Architectural Design has been a true test of my grit because the profession demands the societal expectations listed above. In opposition to those expectations, I think the values I've defined grant me a greater ability to understand and be critical of the built environment as it is today. Being a woman with ADHD has gifted me softness and a lens to see the true capability of all things. Facing marginalization has given me the power to empathize with others in positions of marginalization and to seek a better future for all. It is freeing to define your measures of happiness and contentment independent from what you are programmed to believe to be true. What are your definitions of success? What are you good at? How are those different from our programmed ideologies about the world? Is it a bad thing?
